As parents and mentors, we know that technology isn’t going anywhere—and neither is the phone in your teenager’s hand. While smartphones can be tools for connection, creativity, and even spiritual growth, they can also be doorways to distraction, comparison, and temptation. So how do we guide our teens to use their phones wisely and in a way that honors God?
That’s exactly why I created a free printable of Biblical principles for teen phone use—a simple, Scripture-based guide that helps teens filter their phone habits through the lens of God’s Word.
📱 Why Biblical Principles Matter in the Digital Age
Our teens are growing up in a digital-first world. Many of them have never known life without constant connectivity, social media, or instant access to information. But the Bible still speaks clearly into today’s world—even the world of screen time and social scrolling.
By grounding our digital choices in Scripture, we help our teens:
Develop discernment in what they consume and share
Set boundaries that protect their hearts and minds
Remember their identity in Christ—not in likes or followers
Learn to use their phone as a tool for glorifying God
📖 What’s Inside the Printable?
This free printable includes:
4 Biblical principles to guide phone use
Key Scripture verses for each principle
Black and white florals so you can place the guide on display in your home wherever you charge your phones
Whether you’re a parent, youth pastor, or small group leader, this resource is a great way to open up healthy, faith-filled conversations about technology.
✨ A Preview of the Principles
Here are just a few of the Biblical truths included:
“Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths.” – Ephesians 4:29 → Is my phone use loving toward others?
“But avoid irreverent babble, for it will lead people into more and more ungodliness.” – 2 Timothy 2:16 → Does this glorify God?
🧑🤝🧑 Tips for Using the Printable
Print it out and hang it by your teen’s charging station or desk
Use it as a conversation starter during family devotions
Include it in a youth group lesson on digital discipleship
Revisit it regularly and revise your teen’s phone boundaries as needed
📥 Download Your Free Printable
Click the link below to download your free copy: 👉 DOWNLOAD
This resource is my gift to you—because I believe our teens don’t need more rules, they need wisdom, grace, and a Biblical foundation to navigate a world that’s always online.
Let’s raise up the next generation to be light-bearers—even on their phones. 💡📱
Have you used this printable with your teen or youth group? I’d love to hear how it’s impacted your conversations! Drop a comment below or tag me on social media.
This week was an emotional roller coaster for a number of reasons so I’m just going to start at the beginning. I began the week feeling very anxious about the race. Sunday night I opened the race website and read more thoroughly about the course. The words “challenging” and “hills” stuck out to me and for some reason I couldn’t remember reading them there before. Obviously nerves were getting to me. I had trouble sleeping just wondering if I really had what it takes to run a “challenging” course for 13.1 miles. At three weeks out, I knew it was too soon to really have race day jitters. So I figured I was really nervous about my 120-minute long run coming up at the end of the week. Because all of my training hinged on that long run. How that run went would tell me if I really had “it” in me. I drove around my neighborhood plotting different routes until I found one that totaled 13.5 miles. It had so many hills and I was super nervous about running it, but also knew that I HAD to run a challenging course in order to gain the confidence I needed. When I was done, I would compare the hill graph that my fitbit generated to the hill graph on the race course website to see how similar or different they were. I’ve known that the race course wouldn’t be quite as bad as the hills I have around where I live, but my nerves had me doubting not only my capabilities, but also my prior knowledge of the course itself.
The plan was to run the 120 minutes on Saturday morning. Friday I had a homeschool convention featuring a speaker I was really looking forward to seeing in person. Then Saturday would be the big run, followed by my son’s double birthday party: Saturday night with friends, and then Sunday afternoon with family. It was sure to be a busy weekend! But as I watched the weather, Saturday was looking more and more dismal as it crept closer. I’m talking, torrential rain AND heavy wind predicted for Saturday morning. I’ve already run in the rain and snow and wind. I know I can do it if I have to. But I had no desire to run my big one in those kind of conditions if I could avoid it. So on Thursday I contacted the convention to see if I could use my Friday ticket for Saturday instead, figuring I could run Friday morning and then try to use the rest of the day to get as much ready for my son’s birthday as possible. Depending on what I got done, I could try to sneak away Saturday morning for at least part of the convention before entertaining guests that afternoon/evening.
There’s an irony in life that we know we can’t really control everything, but we still try to make the best, most efficient plans as possible. And every once in a while we get a good, hard reminder that we are not in control. On Thursday, while I was in the midst of messaging convention leaders about my ticket, trying to bake a cake (and discovering I was out of baking cocoa), and waiting for my bread customers to arrive for their orders, I got news that my dad’s brother had been in a horrific car accident just a few miles from my house. By Thursday evening, it became clear to us that he probably wouldn’t make it. Sleep was elusive Thursday night. I woke up Friday morning emotionally charged which proved at least decent fuel for a 2-hour run. (More on that later.) My husband took Friday off from work and after running, showering, and setting the kids up for the day, we went to the hospital to say “goodbye” and be with extended family. He died Friday afternoon. We are still stunned. To lose someone so suddenly and unexpected is a shock to the system. This particular uncle (and aunt) attended my family’s church and he played in our worship band. He and my father had a band together when I was growing up and my memories from that time are strong. The sadness cast a shadow over my son’s birthday festivities but I’m grateful we were able to be with friends and family and have a bit of a distraction in the following days. I never made it to the convention.
I said it was an emotional roller coaster of a week, right? While I started the week extremely anxious about running, I ended the week feeling strong in that area. My 2-hour run went well timing wise (although I did get downpoured on twice). When I compared the elevation graphs from my running route to the race course, there was really no comparison. It was clear that although they do call their course “challenging” and with “rolling hills”, their hills are nothing compared to what I run around here. The fact that I was able to run for 2 hours and get the mileage I wanted AND do it with incredible hills really gave me the confidence I needed. And although I’m now feeling good about the upcoming race, there is still a shadow that came with the end of this week: a lingering sadness that will be here for a while. I am grateful, though, that we don’t mourn without hope. Our faith, my uncle’s faith, and our family’s faith in Jesus Christ assures us that we will see him again, in Heaven, with our Lord, for all eternity. This life on earth is so very fragile and it is only a fraction of what is to come. The last thing Uncle Tom said to my husband and I when we saw him at church on Easter Sunday was, “He is risen!”
The race is in two weeks and the plan from here on out is to just stay fresh, fit, and focused. And avoid injury!
I know I typically share photos at the end of these posts but I’ve been having technical issues in this area lately. I’m “back” on social media now (though still trying to limit my time there) so you can see photos from my son’s birthday (he had a dinosaur cake!) and more on instagram. Come follow me @raising_little_seekers on insta–I’d love to see you there!
Happy Patriots’ Day/Marathon Monday! I have to admit, listening to all the local commercials for the Boston Marathon and hearing a variety of runners share their “why”–what they’re running for, what charity they are supporting, etc, has been inspiring. It’s also left me feeling a little inferior while training for a mere HALF marathon. But I am glad there is such a thing! It’s definitely more accessible to the average, busy mom who doesn’t have ample training time at her fingertips. (Me!)
During week 7, I logged about 22 miles of running for the week spread over 45-minute, 60-minute, 30-minute, and 75-minute runs. It was a great week weather-wise and I felt really good overall. Since ditching the weighted vest for my runs, the training has gone smoother. I’ve noticed more gains and just felt stronger overall. This could also be due to the training work finally “kicking in.” I do love the weighted vest for walking and increasing strength in other areas–it’s especially good for women as it helps mitigate bone density loss as we age. But for running? It just wasn’t working for me. You can read my previous posts if you want to know more about that.
Last week I mentioned wanting to figure out my plan for pre-run fuel. I have been an early morning workout person for years. I get up, workout, THEN get ready for my day and have a little post-workout-something. Lately it’s been a protein shake made with raw milk and chocolate protein powder. It’s worked for me; or so I thought. The truth is, I am often starving by the mid-morning which can either lead to over-snacking or undereating if I’m really busy and then my attitude plummets along with my blood sugar and it just isn’t good for anyone. I also wanted to have a plan to eat something before my longer runs that would sustain me, so that’s what I’ve been practicing. I’ve read that bagels are a popular choice for runners but as someone who bakes all her own bread products, bagels are not always at the ready around here. Instead, I’ve been making overnight muesli and loving it. I take a pint-sized mason jar and put in about 1/3 cup of oats, some flaxseed, chia seeds, coconut, a little brown sugar, and some diced apple. I top it off with milk and stick it in the fridge overnight. In the morning it’s ready for me to enjoy right when I get up. I noticed a big difference in my workouts this week. I ate the muesli before my 45 and 60 minute runs and then didn’t have anything before a bootcamp on the bike and my 30 minute run and I really noticed a lack of energy during those workouts. I also noticed it staved off mid-day hunger when I started the day with fuel before a workout. (I still have my protein shake after.) I think this is going to be my new routine for all my workouts. But I’m curious about what works for others as far as pre-run or pre-workout snacks? If I get bored of this, how should I mix it up? In the past before a long run, I’d have half a banana but I’m really not a huge fan of bananas in general so I would just choke it down. But maybe if I mix it with oatmeal? Let me know what you do!
As far as mid-run fuel goes, I’ve gotten pretty good at sipping water from a small bottle I bring with me, and sucking down an energy gel. I love these gu packets from Amazon and am especially partial to the raspberry lemonade flavor. If you’re a runner, I’d love to know what you prefer for in-run energy!
Week 8 is the big one. Essentially the climax of the training, week 8 ends with a 2-hour run and I’ll be targeting around 12 miles for that one. At the beginning of my training I said I hoped to complete the half-marathon in about two hours. That has become more like a dream than a hard goal. I’ve stated before that I’m not fast (obviously) and this is my first ever big race. I’ve never even seriously run a 5k or 10k race. And all of the coaching I’ve had through this process has stressed letting go of time goals if it’s your first race. “Just complete it and enjoy it.” So that has become the goal. I know the race course is much less hilly than my neighborhood where I train so I have some hope that I’ll achieve a faster time than I’m used to. But I also know that race-day jitters are real and that can also impact my time. So for now, I plan to just complete the race and enjoy it. My husband and kids have finished my playlist and they are so excited for me to hear it on race day. (I am too!) This week is going to be crazy as it’s my son’s birthday, I have a homeschool convention, and the 2-hour run to prepare for. If I survive this week, I know I can crush the actual race.
Meanwhile, enjoy some pictures from our week and Easter weekend! The spring weather brought us outdoors for school to collect pond water and study it under the microscope. We delighted in seeing tiny micro-organisms look like monsters as they zoomed across the petri dish! My oldest likes to hold painting classes for her siblings in her bedroom and the boys and I had a fun game night one night when both girls were away for the night. If you’ve never seen the 2014 documentary “Fed Up”, I highly recommend it. I had my oldest two watch it and write a paper on it for school. We’d already been on a journey to limit added sugar and make more things from scratch but this film really solidified some of our ideas. So in that same vein, I made Easter candy at home–peanut butter protein “eggs” and homemade peppermint patties. Of course, they got some traditional favorites during their egg hunt. Easter weekend was a large order weekend for my cottage bakery and a successful one! I also have pictured one of my favorite methods of recovery: an epsom salt bubble bath.
This past week of training was tough. Last week, week four, I called the “no quit zone.” If I wasn’t so determined to NOT quit, week five might have been the week to do me in. It wasn’t so much the physical running as the mental game–mustering the motivation to run in less-than-ideal weather, and honestly just fitting the runs into an already crammed schedule. The mental load was a lot, and I don’t want to sugarcoat this process or give the false impression that it’s been easy.
The week started with an easy 30-minute run on a rainy Monday morning. I don’t mind running in the rain, generally, but I am hoping for an improvement in these cold, windy, and overall dreary weather patterns we’ve had lately. Next was a 45-minute intervals run, which I knew would be tough but I was pleased with how strong I felt. Then came the hard part. I couldn’t figure out where to fit in my next 30-minute run because my next two mornings were going be jam-packed with making and baking sourdough for my cottage bakery plus the early morning weather was set to be very cold and very windy. I had to get the run in before my long 75-minute run on Friday, though. Saturday I had to get my son to a karate tournament early so I wasn’t fitting a long run in that morning! After agonizing over when to tackle that 30-minute run, I finally decided to try to squeeze it in Wednesday afternoon after book club and hair appointments with my girls and before my son’s karate class; soliciting help from my oldest with dinner that night. It was supposed to be an easy run, but it was one of the harder ones I’ve had. I had worked out that morning–completing a 45-minute bike & strength bootcamp (one of my favorite forms of working out that I can also do indoors early and in the dark, unlike outdoor running) and had a busy day of sourdough prep, homeschooling, teen girl book club, and haircuts for my daughters. I thought the run would be a nice way to get fresh air and clear my head but it ended up feeling rushed and the weighted vest I’ve been wearing caused more severe chafing on this particular run. It was painful. I took Thursday off from running and only did some conditioning strength training and an easy cycling class. On Friday I had my long run and was aiming for 7-7.5 miles in a 75-minute window. But I didn’t plot my route ahead of time and didn’t count on a pretty steep hill I ran into on a road I had never been on before. I decided to give the vest another try and wear it differently but the chafing came back with a vengeance so the run only granted me 6.5 painful miles. By the end of the week I felt exhausted and defeated. Thoughts like “this isn’t working”, “this isn’t the right time of life for me to train for something like this”, “will it ever warm up or NOT be windy on a run?!”, and “I can’t do this” flooded my head.
But, I’ve already passed the “no quit zone” as I said, so here we are! I’m thankful that the vest issue is fixable. I’m ditching it while running for now. I still think it’s great for walking and increasing strength for push ups, etc, but it’s the bumping that occurs while running that is causing the problem. So, so long! I’m grateful that my bad ankle is holding up well. It talks to me sometimes after a speed run but on long runs it really does okay and doesn’t hurt after. I’m also thankful that my husband and kids are stepping up to help out where they can and are encouraging me. I’ve enlisted them to put together my playlist for the race and I can’t wait to listen to it and guess who added which song. I’ve been nervous about the mental aspect of the race and if I’ll be able to keep myself motivated without a coach encouraging me in my earbuds like during the training. I think having a playlist made by my favorite people will help!
This week, to alleviate some of the stresses of last week, I’ve written out my training schedule and am determined to stick to it, no matter the weather. If a run doesn’t go as planned because of the wind and rain, so be it. The mental strain of trying to save my runs for the best weather days of the week is just too much. I keep telling myself that the weather is bound to turn at some point! Running without the vest will be liberating and I hope to see an improvement on my pace. My long run this week will be 90 minutes and I plan to plot my route beforehand so I don’t get surprised by more unexpected steep hills. Some hills are fine, but I don’t want too many–I’d like to be able to keep a somewhat steady pace to really practice for the race. I already know that my training route is more hilly than the race route, so I am well-prepared in that area. My friend and I are celebrating her upcoming birthday by getting massages and lunch–so I will be primed and ready to get a good 9 miles in during the 90 minute run! I’m more confident that I’ll be able to achieve this goal without the vest and if my route is planned ahead of time.
Despite the busy week and the training discouragements, a lot of good things happened! Here are some pics!…1-4) It was “Spain” week in our homeschool and I had so much fun making food I remember eating when I studied there in college. I didn’t use a recipe for the Spanish tortilla, paella, or flan–just pulled from my memory. My host mom would shake her head at my miserable flipping of the tortillas (see first photo) but it was still fun to try to show my kids how it’s done like she showed me! The churros were the biggest hit, though. 5) I facilitate a book club with my oldest and three of her friends. I seriously love hanging with teens and hearing their thoughts on deep subjects. I take them to a local cafe and treat them to drinks and pastries and we discuss our book. It is truly a highlight for me. 6) The girls got haircuts and Emmalyn (age 9) went short! The style looks super cute on her. 7-8) Our youth group had a karaoke competition Saturday night and Abby and her friends did AMAZING! After the competition they opened the floor to anyone who wanted to sing and Emmalyn sang with a couple other young girls with their big sisters backing them. It was adorable and so fun to watch. I love watching teens have fun and be ridiculously creative when they are given the space to be. Randy and I had a truly fun night with them. 9) Eli (age 7) came in second place in kata during his tournament on Saturday! He’s a purple belt and already racking up more trophies than he has room for.
Wish me luck on getting those 9 miles in later this week!
Spring Into Action: 24 Screen-Free Ideas for a Fun and Refreshing Season
Spring is the perfect time to shake off the winter blues, breathe in the fresh air, and get outside. As much as we love our screens, it’s nice to take a break every now and then and embrace the simple joys of the season. If you’re looking for some creative, screen-free activities to enjoy with your kids this spring, why not try something a little different? To make it even more exciting, I’ve created a Spring Bingo Card packed with 24 fun, nature-filled activities to help you unplug and make the most of the season.
It may not feel like it right now where I live (today we had chilling 45mph winds and freezing temps) but spring IS around the corner so get ready now! Before we know it, the mild weather will be here and our kids will be clamoring to get outdoors. See how many of the squares you can check off! Can you get BINGO, 5-in-a-row? Or go try to cross off every square! The choice is yours.
Here’s your ultimate screen-free spring bingo card, with 24 fresh ideas that will leave you feeling refreshed and reconnected with nature:
One of my favorite things about homeschooling is that I get to have lunch with my kids everyday. I love to chat about how we think the day is going and to hear their silly jokes. I don’t always eat with them (I’m sometimes feeding the baby or getting my dinner prep out of the way while we’re all in the kitchen) and I often just have a salad or smoothie myself, but I still love making lunch together an “anchor point” of our day. (See previous post about the importance of having anchor points throughout the day.)
It occurred to me that many parents are now not only facing the task of supervising their children’s education from home, but they also have to prepare lunches for their kids who are normally eating at school. So I thought I’d share some of our favorite lunches as a homeschooling family. Although I love to cook, I’ve loathed preparing lunch for a while and only recently started coming around. This has been my struggle: it’s a disruption to the flow of our day, I’m often about to hit the “early afternoon slump”, and usually I want to serve something quick. When I started to look at lunch as another valuable chance to connect with my kids and get creative in the kitchen, it became more fun. So I asked them what some of their favorite lunches are, and we came up with this list. Some of these ideas take a little more time and planning ahead, but when I have the time, they make lunch more fun. Hopefully you can glean an idea or two for yourself!
Favorite picnic/outdoor lunches:
Baguettes with cheese and meat. I’ve never liked packing a picnic lunch, even though I do it all the time. Making 5 different sandwiches assembly-line style tended to get in the way of our morning routine and letting the kids make their own meant more clean up for me when we were trying to get out of the house. But the task became easier when I was turned on to the idea of simply packing a baguette, some cheese, and some deli meat and letting the kids break apart what they wanted when we eat. When I started doing this, my kids LOVED it and I appreciate the simplicity. Now it’s a lunch they request weekly. Personally, I make my own baguettes because I enjoy pushing myself in the kitchen (it’s a hobby of mine)and if that interests you, I use the Cook’s Illustrated recipe and make them a couple times a week. There are plenty of other recipes you can find online!
Chicken salad wraps. Any kind of wrap or pocket, really. I’ve found that simply switching up the vessel in which I serve a “sandwich” makes lunch more interesting and appealing to my kids, and me! We love a good turkey wrap, ham wrap, or chicken salad wrap. If we’re at home, they make it themselves. I simply put out the ingredients and let them have at it. If we’re picnicking, wraps are SUPER portable which is perfect for exploring.
Favorite FUN lunches at home:
HOMEMADE PIZZA! This is always a winner, and it’s easier to make than you might think. Pizza for lunch feels really special to my kids so I love to treat them to it. I make my own dough (recipe below)*, but the Pillsbury pizza crust is also tasty. A little sauce, a little cheese, throw it in the oven at 425* for 10 minutes and it’s done. Really fast lunch, and super fun! Here’s how we like to change it up…
Make-Your-Own-Pizza day! If we don’t have a lot on the schedule, this is a treat. We don’t do school on Fridays so it’s a good day for this if we don’t have a field trip planned or co-op (like, you know, now in quarantine world). They each get a little dough and spread toppings as they like.
Taco Pizza! This was an idea I stumbled upon sort of by accident about a year ago in an experiment and it instantly became a family favorite. Randy gets jealous when he hears the kids had it for lunch! To make it, I add a little taco seasoning (half a packet) to an 8 oz can of tomato sauce and use that for my “marinara.” I use the rest of the packet to flavor the beef or ground turkey as I cook it (about a 1/4 lb for one pizza). To assemble, I spread the sauce on the dough, top with Mexican cheese, and flavored meat. Bake at 425* for about 10 minutes. Once it comes out of the oven, I let it cool 2 minutes, then spread sour cream on top and sprinkle with lettuce and tomatoes and hot sauce. So good! If you don’t have taco seasoning, a combination of cumin, garlic powder, onion powder, chili powder, and paprika will do!
Other Topping Ideas: sausage and broccoli, sausage and peppers, pepperoni, leftover BBQ chicken, bacon/spinach/fried eggs (My kids love fried eggs on everything! Whip up a pizza with wilted spinach, bacon or pancetta, and then crack a few eggs on top with 2 minutes left of bake time. The eggs will cook in the oven and leave a runny yolk. “Breakfast” pizza!)
**I started making sourdough at the beginning of the year and have discovered that sourdough pizza crust is delicious and a great way to use your discarded starter. Some people have been trying this bread during the pandemic, so if that’s you, consider giving this crust a try, too! I make it once a week. First thing in the morning, I’ll separate my starter so I can feed some for a new loaf of bread and turn the rest into pizza crust for our lunch. I’ve also found recipes for sourdough pretzels (kid FAVORITE), waffles, and other goodies that are very tasty. It is such a satisfying process for a home cook and baker!
Cheeseburgers and hot dogs. As the weather warms up, this is a great lunch. Even though cheeseburgers are often supper food, they’re really quick to make and the kids think they’re getting something pretty special when it’s burgers for lunch! If I’m planning on making burgers for dinner one night, I’ll often make extra patties to serve for lunch later in the week. As someone who makes 21 meals for 7 people every week, I can attest that it’s perfectly fine to repeat favorites during the same week and the buying/prepping in bulk is so economical: saves a lot of time and money!
Calzones. Ask my kids if they prefer pizza or calzones and they will say “calzones.” Ask them if they prefer taco pizza or calzones and they will say they don’t want to live in a world where they have to choose. I typically make a version of Ree Drummond’s easy calzones. It’s a good amount of work for a lunch, so they can easily be prepped the night before, or just make ’em for dinner, they reheat beautifully for lunch!
Favorite Ways to Use Leftovers
Rice Bowls. For a family of 7, rice is a staple. Some dinner favorites around here include arroz con pollo, pork fried rice (any Asian rice dish, really), and risotto either as a side or a main dish. When I make rice for dinner, I always make a big batch so we have leftovers for lunch. I will take the leftover rice and fry it in a large saute pan with some frozen corn or peas (and maybe some ham if I have it and there isn’t already meat in the leftover rice), and fry eggs in another pan. Everyone gets a big bowl of the prepared rice and a fried egg or two on top. They love to use the runny yolk as a “sauce” in their rice. This is seriously a lunch my kids get excited about. I turn into the “BEST mom ever!” when this is on their placemats. And all I did was reheat dinner and fry some eggs…
“Anything goes” pockets. Store bought pastry dough can turn any leftover dish into a fun “pocket” or “turnover” or whatever you want to call it. Here’s a go-to example we use:
Take leftover mashed potatoes and mix in a bowl with leftover ham (or turkey or chicken).
Add some frozen vegetables (peas or corn are what I use)
Add some shredded cheese and season with salt and pepper. Mix well.
Unfold the pastry dough and cut into squares. Fill each square with the potato mixture and brush with an egg wash to help seal in the shape of a triangle. Poke a few holes in the top of the pocket to allow steam to escape while baking.
Place stuffed “pockets” on a baking sheet and bake at 400* for 12-15 minutes, or until dough is golden brown and cooked all the way through. Let cool! The filling will be hot, so allow time to cool before serving. These are great dipped in ranch dressing or chutney.
Leftover chicken can become chicken salad. Turn it into a wrap or serve it on a salad (this might be a more favorable lunch for Mom, but my oldest will have a salad like this any day).
When I make a big batch of spaghetti sauce and meatballs, some meatballs and sauce can be reserved for meatball subs at lunch. That’s a rare and therefore special occurrence around here.
Crockpot meals make excellent lunch re-heaters. Some of our favorites are slow-cooker barbeque pork for pulled pork sandwiches or tacos, pulled chicken, or even slow cooker pot roast. All great next-day lunches!
Tacos. I mean, either make a huge batch the night before for dinner and then leftover lunch, or just make them for lunch… tacos are amazingly easy and delicious. Enough said.
Favorite ways to re-imagine “classics”…
Homemade mac & cheese. This is actually not much harder to make than a boxed mac & cheese. The longest part of either process is waiting for the water to boil and the pasta to cook. The rest is a piece of cake! And when you make it yourself, you can change up the cheese, flavoring, and additions. To make the cheese part, I start with a couple TBs of butter, melting in a pot. Once melted, add about 1/4 cup of flour. Whisk together and cook until flour is completely mixed in with the butter. I then add about 1 TB of dijon mustard, and a dollop of sour cream (not necessary, if you don’t have sour cream, no biggie, I don’t always use it, but it adds good depth to flavor). Then I quickly whisk in about 1 1/2 cups of milk and continue whisking over high heat until thickened. (The higher the fat content of the milk, the faster this will go. Whole milk is a great option.) Then I turn off the heat and add my cheese, anywhere from 1-2 cups of shredded cheese, depending on how cheesy you like it. Season liberally with salt and pepper and add in the cooked pasta (I always use a whole pound of shells, or 2 cups of elbows pasta). Done! If you want “plain” mac and cheese, use shredded cheddar jack. You can add some frozen peas or chopped spinach to get those veggies in. OR use a sharp white cheddar cheese and add in some broccoli and cooked chicken or ham. Changing up the cheese and pasta on occasion is a fun surprise for the kids!
Grilled cheese and tomato soup. I have ordered grilled cheese for my kids from restaurants only to get a barely melted piece of cheese between two barely toasted pieces of bread. Forget that. This grilled cheese is ooey, gooey, and oh, so flavorful. I make this when I want a “gourmet” lunch for myself! And the kids love it because… it’s grilled cheese! In the food processor, I put whatever cheese I have left on hand (a bag of shredded cheddar is a great option, but cheese in multiple forms is a staple in this house–blocks of cheddar, gruyere, and parmesan are usually in the fridge so I often add those to the mix), half a stick of butter, a handful of spinach, a pinch of salt, and some fresh basil. Pulse until well combined. Scoop a spoonful or two between two pieces of bread (sourdough or white) and grill until melted and the bread is toasted. I also add a little shredded parmesan and chopped basil to our tomato soup–we buy the organic Imagine brand. It is so smooth and “creamy”, but no dairy. This is truly a “gourmet” soup and sandwich lunch.
Instead of PB&Js, try... Peanut butter and jelly (or fluff) Ritz crackers. I also love to spread Nutella or cream cheese on these and top them with fruit. And of course, cheese and pepperoni make great cracker “sandwiches.” A variety of crackers with creative toppings is always a crowd pleaser and fills them up.
In a hurry but no leftovers…
If I need to get lunch on the table fast but don’t have leftovers in the fridge, I often just put out a sampling of veggie sticks with dressing, fruit, cheese, and crackers. Separately these all make great appetizers, but served together, it can be a healthy, filling, and easy lunch!
Yogurt, fruit, and granola. This is a super easy lunch and satisfies my kids, especially if they’ve had a big breakfast or a snack mid-morning.
If I don’t have time to make sandwiches, it’s often better if I simply put out the deli meats, condiments, and bread. They love making their own sandwiches and they often eat the whole thing when they’ve made it themselves (ownership of creation and everything). 🙂
Next up, Fuel-Filled Breakfasts for “Homeschool” Days, stay tuned!
*Here’s my pizza dough recipe (not sourdough):
Mix 1 TB sugar and 1 tsp of dry, active yeast in 1 1/2 cups warm water. Set aside.
Combine 3 cups of flour, 1 tsp salt, and about 1/4 – 1/3 cup olive oil in a large bowl.
Stir the water/yeast mixture into the flour mixture until well combined. Add up to another cup of flour (slowly) if needed. Knead into a ball and place in a bowl with olive oil and roll the dough in the oil. Cover the bowl and let the dough rise 1-2 hours. This should make enough dough for 2 pizzas.
It’s Friday night, our typical “date night”, but like this Friday night, we don’t always get to enjoy it. And like every other night this week, I put the kids to bed alone as they asked if they’d still be awake when Daddy gets home. (They won’t be.) Yes, it’s “peak season” at UPS which means while everyone else is trying to get more family time in for the holidays, we’re getting less of it. But though I’m no “newbie” to having a husband work long, odd hours; I’m still a work-in-progress when it comes to dealing with it graciously. (Mercy is not my strongest quality, you may know.)
So before I dive a little into my journey with this issue, I just want to say that…
This post is not a way for me to put down my husband. I hope that will be clear. He works really hard for our family and I’m proud of him!
I’m not seeking sympathy, and I know I’m not alone. In fact, most of my friends have husbands who work LONG hours or odd hours which leads them to manage their homes accordingly. I know there are many husbands out there who work longer than mine or are away from home for longer periods of time. I don’t want to compare. All moms have hard things they deal with. Period.
When Randy and I first got married, he was working third shift (11pm-7am) and had Thursday/Friday nights off. He was “emergency staff” which meant that he didn’t get any holidays off unless they happened to fall on his normal “weekend” and if someone called out sick for the day shift, he would sometimes get forced to stay and work a double. About six months into our marriage he also went back to school full time. And I got pregnant with our first child while working full time myself. We thought we were busy then! I longed for a time when he would work a “typical” 9-5 job. I dreamed we’d have family dinners, put the kids to bed, and then snuggle up on the couch to watch our favorite show, and then go to bed TOGETHER. And for a brief period after he graduated and we had two then three kids, he did work a “9-5” job. But he also worked part-time Mon-Thurs from 7-11 pm. No enjoying the evenings together. No going to bed together. A little over three years ago, for good and necessary reasons (that I didn’t understand then and won’t get into here) he gave up his two jobs and began working for UPS. His 8-hour days quickly turned into 10-hour days minimum, 12-14 hour days during busy seasons or difficult weather. And while yes, he was now home “more” in the evenings, he wasn’t home for dinner or bedtime–probably the most trying and tiring time of day for any mom. And then we had a fourth child. And now we have five. And I have accepted that I will not get the “typical 9-5” schedule I thought I wanted. And honestly, I’m okay with it. But it doesn’t mean that it feels normal when a week goes by and he hasn’t come home earlier than 10:00 p.m. or when he has to start working Saturdays during the already busiest season of the year.
When the long weeks hit and I’m forced to be “it”–responsible for all decisions, scheduling, planning, in addition to my regular tasks–I quickly realize from where I’m trying to pull my strength. Sure, I could last one day. I would get the text that it was going to be a “late one” and I would feel sorry for him. I would put on a brave face, tell the kids Daddy would be late, and I would take care of everything myself and make sure his plate was saved (if he even wanted to eat that late at night) in a clean kitchen. I would shut down the house stoically. Then the next day when the same text arrived, I would explode. Surely more than one day of this was too much to ask! I’ve been home with these kids all day and I need help! It felt personal. I knew he wasn’t doing it on purpose, but it still hurt. I didn’t remember signing up for this. And because I wanted to hurt him back, I would respond in anger. And then there were the Saturdays. Tell me you’re working a Saturday and I will accuse you of not putting your family first. I mean, they can’t make you, right…?
I remember listening to a podcast a couple years ago on this topic and one of the hosts described wanting to hurt her husband “back” for working long hours by giving him the silent treatment, willing him to cross her so she could explode. I thought I was listening to myself for a second. (Seriously, check out Risen Motherhood if you haven’t already. I can’t say enough good things about their book or podcast!)
But wait. The reason I take it personally when he works so much is because I believe that I am “owed” a certain amount of time by my partner. My teammate. My co-parent. Isn’t he “supposed” to be putting in a certain number of hours with us, too? But the reality is, my identity is not a mother or a wife, but a daughter and servant of God FIRST. And yes, He has given me the joy of being a wife and mother next and those are roles I take very seriously. But within them, whatever comes my way day to day, are really between God and me. My job is to do my best with it. Just as Randy takes what comes his way each day and does his best. God never promised I would have a “working 9-5” husband, but He did promise that He would take care of me and my needs. And that He would always be there for me, even 9-5, when I’m “supposed” to be running the house myself. And even in the middle of the night, when I’m getting up again with the baby/toddler/child.
And consider this: though it isn’t a personal attack on me when my husband works late, my sin really is an attack on Christ. And his response is not to hurt me back, but quite the opposite. And that’s the way I’m called to love my husband.
The truth is, I can only love him well when I’m rooting my identity and strength in the Lord and letting Him satisfy me fully. When I do that, He helps me show love and mercy, even when it’s hard.
So how do we make it work? Here are some practical things that we do in our house to keep our marriage and family strong, and help me maintain my sanity when the long hours hit…
Find a routine that works and keep it up. It doesn’t mean it has to be a strict “schedule”, but a routine that becomes familiar to everyone is helpful so that whenever Dad gets home, he can easily recognize where we are in the routine and jump in if needed. For us, this means I’ve had to let go of the dream of family dinners for a while. We get them on the weekends, and they are a priority! But during the week, it’s family breakfast. We are now a family of early risers so that we get meaningful morning time together because we never really know what the evening will look like. I can remember when Randy first started this job and he would tell me when he “thought” he’d be home. If it sounded early enough to have dinner together (like, 7:00) I’d try desperately to keep the kids up and happy so we could eat together. But 7:00 would soon turn to 7:30, then 8:00. He didn’t quite know how long things took yet and whether he was going to be sent out to handle an emergency somewhere. And then I’d be left with hungry, tired children who I had to feed, bathe, brush teeth, and put to bed all alone. Much later than I wanted. So we decided that for my sanity, we had to maintain a decent bedtime, which meant dinner had to happen by 6/6:30 no matter what. We save a heaping plate for Daddy every night.
My personal time with the Lord is vital and our time as a couple with Him is that way, too. We both have our quiet times in the morning. I get my workout in, and then we do devotions together at 6:30. (I told you we’re early risers.) Breakfast and family devotions are at 7:30 and then he supervises the older kids cleaning the kitchen so that by the time he leaves for work at 8:30, we can start our school day or whatever we’re doing all dressed and clean and ready to go.
Family time is the best time! We have family movie night, family game night, family nature walks, family book club. Everything we do as a family is a big deal and it’s super fun. If we have to clean the house one Saturday, we play loud music and make it a big family affair. We take family day trips and overnight trips. We make the most of our time together because we know how precious it is.
We save things for Daddy. Whatever happens during the day or whatever we discover, we make it a point to share with Daddy when we see him. (The kids recently saved him 2 pieces of origami paper so he could discover just how fun they think it is to make paper animals.) We save him what we bake, and save the biggest, best portions of supper for him. We video call him when we can and if possible, bring him a latte if his route is close to where we are. We do our best to include him in our day.
Likewise, if Randy happens to come home early and I’m still preparing dinner or the house is (just a little) chaotic, his first words are always, “Hello, beautiful. How can I help?” When Randy is home, he’s PRESENT. He makes it a point to participate in our day when he’s able to.
I don’t allow myself (anymore) to dwell on the negative. It was so easy to feel sorry for myself when day in and day out I was doing everything alone. But I’ve realized it does no good. And when we go to events without him, I smile politely and answer the “where’s Randy” questions quickly. It doesn’t do any good to try to garner sympathy from others by emphasizing his absence or trying to explain why he needs to be at work (or sleeping when he worked nights). I know he’d rather be with me than at work. My goal is to make him look good in public and especially in front of my children. (I do have my good friends who “get it” because they’re in the same boat. We vent every once in a while in a healthy way, trust me! Just because we know it’s necessary, doesn’t mean it’s always easy.)
Some verses that serve as good reminders for me:
Proverbs 15:1 “A gentle answer turns anger away. But mean words stir up anger.”
Romans 15:5-7 “Our God is a God who strengthens and encourages you. May he give you the same attitude toward one another that Christ Jesus had. Then you can give glory to God with one mind and voice. He is the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ. Christ has accepted you. So accept one another in order to bring praise to God.
Philippians 2:13 “God is working in you. He wants your plans and your acts to fulfill his good purpose.”
Psalm 62:5 “Yes, I must find my rest in God. He is the God who gives me hope.”
Matthew 11:28-30 “Come to me, all you who are tired and carrying heavy loads. I will give you rest. Become my servants and learn from me. I am gentle and free of pride. You will find rest for your souls. Serving me is easy, and my load is light.”
James 1:12 “Blessed is the person who keeps on going when times are hard. After they have come through hard times, this person will receive a crown. The crown is life itself. The Lord has promised it to those who love him.”
I wish I could say I no longer get disappointed or have hopes and expectations of shorter days at times and that my reactions are always gentle. I’m working on it. God is helping me. And while mercy may not be my strongest suit, He’s blessed me with a husband who is very quick to forgive.
When the days are long, we tire quickly. It’s a good thing I have two laps even though I’m only one person.
Left: Randy helping with our Resurrection cookies last Easter. Right: Noah practicing his reading with Daddy. You can tell he jumps into our family life as soon as he gets home.
Raising Little Seekers 