Embracing the Eternal Season in the Midst of the Temporary One

Things have been a bit crazy around the Dattolo household for the past few weeks.  I am tired.  And Randy is tired.  Our kids are even tired, as they’ve been falling asleep almost immediately upon hitting their pillows each night (normally they’re up in their room until between 8:00-9:00).  And I’ve been putting them to bed EARLY!!!  I can’t honestly think of anything specific that we’ve done lately that would tire them out so much, other than that maybe playing outside in the cold might make one more tired than playing outside in comfortable weather?  Or perhaps the sheer tiredness of both their parents has actually worn off on them.  I think we parents affect our kids in more ways than we can ever really understand. Anyway, I’m so tired that even the 2 cups of fully caffeinated coffee I had this afternoon (brewed “richly” by my new Ninja Coffee Bar!–I promise, I’ll write some kind of “ode” to it at a later date–it’s amazing) cannot help keep me awake.  Just glancing at the piles of clean laundry waiting for me to fold is making me yawn.

Randy got a new job recently and it’s stressful on both of us.  He’s now delivering packages for UPS.  Randy and I are wired so differently when it comes to career stuff.  And because it’s hard for me to understand the sudden switch, it makes it hard for me to explain it to others.  So I won’t try just yet.  I will say that I’m very proud of him, supportive, and happy for his happiness–there’s an excitement in his face when he says that this is the first job he’s had that he pictures himself retiring from.  (Wow, when did we get so old??? haha!)  Obviously, retirement is not in our near future, so it IS saying something that he feels like he could have this job from now until retirement, and it’s the first time he’s felt this way.  Because it’s the holiday season, this means several LATE nights for us right now, and early mornings.  For the past few weeks, his average arrival time at night has been around 8:00-8:30 p.m.  Then he has to eat the supper I’ve saved for him, and rush off to his second job, which he has to keep for now.  We’re like ships passing in the night.  Except I’m not passing.  I’m standing still and he’s coming and going.  So maybe that was a poor analogy. But you know what I mean.  This sudden change in our schedules has made us both tired and struggling to figure out how our day-to-days should work.  He’s obviously out working hard, and I’m figuring out how to keep the kids entertained from breakfast through bedtime and debating whether or not I should go “all out” for supper and what we can talk  about over dinner when it’s just been them and me all day long.  It’s exhausting, to say the least.

Randy and I now relish the weekends even more than we did before.  Saturday and Sunday hit and we both feel like we need to absorb as much of each other as we possibly can to last through the long week ahead.  I guess this makes the fact that I’m a very organized planner come in handy.  I actually schedule all of our family time on the weekends–when we’ll do a certain devotional, make cookies, take a walk, have a movie night, etc.  I have to plan it out or else we just sit around feeling exhausted and bored and before we know it, it’s Monday again.  This past weekend felt particularly special because of this.  Last week was the first week Randy had EXTREMELY late nights (like, after 9:30 at night–this has become the “norm” half the time, now) so the weekend together felt so needed!  I mentioned in a previous post what my plans were for December schooling.  We’re doing a devotional from my church which has some family connections (that I happened to write–did I mention that part?) and we’re also doing an abbreviated version of Truth in the Tinsel by Amanda White.  (I really love her!)  The kids and I do the Truth in the Tinsel during the week in place of school, basically.  It’s great, though, because start-to-finish, it takes about 20 minutes of the day!  So it’s definitely a nice break from our normal couple hours of school.

15267848_10158177065380221_7654522769736880644_nSo the family devotional we did this past weekend from Hope Chapel was about Jesus’ name: Immanuel.  We read about it and talked about its meaning.  Then we were supposed to have some family “togetherness” to symbolize being with each other the way God is with us.  We called my mother in law, who lives in Connecticut, just because.  I made Ree Drummond’s amazing broccoli cheddar soup and let it simmer on the stove while we took a family walk in the cold.  And it flurried a little for us!  When we got home, the soup was ready and we had a nice, long, lunch together as a family.  Then we ALL took a nap!  It was the best day.  Not to mention that Randy and I went out that night which was a lot of fun. 🙂

img_0969Yes, this is a stressful time, which is why it’s so important for me (us) to cherish these quaint, family moments.  Whenever I’m tempted to talk about this time of life being a “season” of this or that, I’m reminded of something I recently learned in a Bible study… the author was cautioning us not to think of life in terms of different seasons because the truth is, Christians are in an eternal season of life.  And this life on earth, knowing Christ, is its own season that should impact every temporary “season” of life we will ever experience.  So even though I’m tempted to dwell on the stress of this time and give myself the excuse that it’s just temporary, or seasonal, it’s no excuse to lay down.  I can rest, as long as I rest in Him.  But I can never stop living the life that God has given me or ministering to others (ahem, my husband, children, family, and friends) with the tools which He’s equipped me.  So I’ll continue to plan our family events so we can capitalize our time together.  I’ll continue to wait up for my husband and sit with him while he eats dinner at 9:30 at night and take care of the household chores so he has one less thing to worry about.  And I’ll continue to entertain, care for, and witness to my children.  And I’ll continue making broccoli soup, which we all decided is our new favorite (actually, it was always one of Randy’s favorites, which is why I made it). 💜 So that, my friends, is what’s up with me.  I was going to write about how we talked about our next fruit of the Spirit, recently–gentleness, but I’ll save that for my next post.  How’s your December going?

More Kindness, Less Planning

If you know me, then you know that I like to have a plan!  I need to be able to see where I’m going before I start heading there.  As a crafty person, I never take on a project without having a purpose for it in the end. (Some people like to craft or make things “just because” but I’ve never been able to do that.) Maybe this is why cooking appeals to me so much–I can visualize the outcome.  I always know exactly what I want to serve and I have fun making it happen.  And perhaps this is why homeschooling is so scary.  I don’t know how long we’ll do it for, God hasn’t shown me the long-term picture yet.  He is teaching me to trust Him and let Him lead completely which is not easy for this over-planner!

So my “plan” when starting our fruit of the Spirit unit was to do a trait a week.  9 weeks certainly seemed long enough for a unit like this!  It’s not easy to balance our regular curriculum with this supplement, plus everything else we have going on in life!  Well, in week number 5 we hit a snag.  Things just caught up with us and I had to decide whether or not to rush through KINDNESS to the point of practically skipping it, or make it run into 2 weeks.  The Lord is doing a work in me, friends, because it wasn’t as hard as usual to step back, slow it down, and throw the “plan” out the window.  (Okay, so adding a week isn’t exactly throwing the plan out the window, but for someone like me, it feels pretty close!)  So kindness took 2 weeks and we did a little review of our fruits up to this point.

img_0719Our fruit was orange and I’m not sure what the correlation is, but the good thing is that with young kids, it doesn’t matter!  Neither one asked me “why” an orange stood for kindness.  They just accepted it and asked when they would get their orange-flavored chapstick and scented marker.  (Ok, I may be losing them a little to the glimmer of the “gifts” rather than the point of these lessons…) 😦

Colossians 3:12 basically says to put on kindness like you put on your clothes.  Made me think about doing an armor of God unit at some point… in the distant future. 😉  So Abby and Noah flipped through magazines looking for pictures of clothes to glue to our KINDNESS poster.  Then I hung it on the wall by their bureau as a reminder when they’re getting dressed every morning to “put on kindness.”  For our Bible story, I read the story of Ruth and the kindness she showed Naomi, which was returned to her by Boaz.  Then we made a list of the ways we can show kindness to the people around us.  I like to try to name actual people in our lives and real-life scenarios when we do this.  Then we try to remember when we’re about to enter that scenario.  For instance, before dropping them off at a friend’s house, I’ll ask, “What if your friend doesn’t want to play the same thing that you want to play?  How can you still show kindness?”  (Hmm… what if your friend didn’t vote for the same person you voted for?  How can you still show kindness???  Not sure why that question just popped into my head!) 😉

There’s a Veggie Tales video called “Lyle, the Kindly Viking” which we watched (along with about 2-3 other Veggie Tales that night).  I had hopes of making orange-cranberry scones but that didn’t happen.  Instead, we ate oranges for snacks several times and just kept talking about ways to show kindness and even role-played using kind words (maybe another activity for some adults in light of recent events?).  We made a card for a sick family member and practiced other little “kind” things.  This whole unit has been filled with “little” things we do in an attempt to drive home what it means to live out the fruit of the Spirit.  I’m not naive enough to believe that in the end, I’m going to turn out a completely changed 5 year old and 3 year old.  But I do believe I’m planting seeds and can only pray that God takes it from here…

So what kind thing have you done or said today? 😉

But the fruit the Holy Spirit produces is… (introduction to the Fruit of the Spirit)

I mentioned a little while ago that I was going to start a unit on the fruit of the Spirit with my kids.  I wanted to do this because rather than always trying to “correct” bad behavior, I want to give them something to strive for; characteristics to aim to BE instead of how not to act.  My parents were good about encouraging us to memorize scripture verses as kids, and I want to do that with my children, as well.  I want God’s Word to really be written on their hearts.

So we’re studying the fruit of the Spirit and this is not a part of our homeschool curriculum, it is completely separate.  People often think that you have to homeschool your kids in order to do things like this with them.  Sure, homeschooling does mean we’re already in the “education” mode at home most of the time and it does allow us more time at home during the day for this sort of thing; but impressing God’s Word on our children’s hearts does not have to be an elaborate craft project or unit.  And as parents, we should always be taking the time to intentionally teach our kids what we want them to learn, especially things they aren’t being taught in public school. So if you’re looking for ideas, feel free to use these!  (They’re not all mine, I got the idea for the unit as a whole from a blog I follow, but I’ve incorporated some of my own stuff.) Some of the ideas are on the crafty side, but you can skip those things and simply focus on the Bible passages, discussions, and memorization.  I like using projects with my young kids because I believe it helps them remember.  And if they experience the Bible in a unique way rather than just hear it, it’s more likely to stick with them.

img_0540I introduced the “unit” (verse/ Bible study–whatever you want to call it) by showing them the verse that I had written out on a poster board.  I left each “fruit” in bubble letters so they can be colored in with the color chosen to represent that fruit.  We talked about how trees bear fruit and recalled how last year we learned that Jesus is like our “tree” and we are the “branches” and if we have Him in our lives and hearts, we will bear fruit like listed in this scripture.  I told them that each word would be represented by a real fruit and we were going to talk about them during the next several weeks.  I made them each a paper with the real fruits drawn on them that they could paint.  An idea I loved from the blog’s unit was using scented paint for the fruit–what better way to make things stick with our kids than to incorporate as many of their senses as possible?!  So we painted with sugar-free flavored gelatin!  It was really neat and they loved it!  The next week we repeated the verse and focused on LOVE with our projects.  I’ll save that for another post. 😉

You know, Randy and I once heard some really great advice that we’re trying to adhere to as our kids grow and want to become involved in more things outside the home (or, we think we want them more involved).  We were told to sit down together (just he and I) and come up with a family “mission statement” and to set goals for our family.  Then, when any new activity (whether it’s a one-time thing, or on-going) comes about, see if it fits under the umbrella of our mission statement.  If it doesn’t, don’t do it.  If it does, then ask if it’s necessary–if it fills the gap of something missing, or if we’re already doing something similar and we don’t need a new activity to add to it.  There are so many great ideas and options out there of activities to do with our children!  And we can easily feel pressured to do them all!  But we don’t have to.  Randy and I have decided (along with many of our friends) that the most important thing for us is to raise our children to know Christ. The second thing is family togetherness and unity.  We want to be unified as a family, and we want to want to spend time together.  Keeping these things in the forefront does actually mean saying “no” to a lot of really good stuff–even church stuff, if it cuts into our family time that week.  We want the time to be able to talk to our kids about the Bible, what they’re learning in school, and how they are feeling.  And we want the time to make great memories together!   We’re very fortunate to be able to homeschool, and I know that’s not the case for everyone.  I wasn’t homeschooled as a child and I still have the best memories of my family being together, playing games, eating dinner together every night, and talking about (and being quizzed on) the Bible!  I guess I hope I’m creating some similar memories with my own kids…

 

Never Say Never…

The end of summer and beginning of fall/homeschool has proven to be a very busy time for me this year.  I haven’t had nearly the amount of time (or energy) I hoped to keep up with this new blog.  But as school has started in our house, and the season of baking and hearty cooking has arrived, I decided it was time to make time to sit and write so I can capture some of our homeschool moments and of course, some yummy recipes.  Hopefully this post will get me back into the habit of writing…

Speaking of habits… as a parent, how do you change a nasty habit you are noticing in your child or children?  And what do you do when you know that particular bad habit probably came from you?  (Denial comes to mind.)  Training our children in the way they should go is certainly not a piece of cake.  You may not know this about me (because I know I’m really subtle about it) but I have a flare for the dramatic. 😉 And yes, so does my daughter.  And I’ve never disliked this about myself more.

The particular dramatic habit of our darling daughter that Randy and I are trying to combat is something I like to call, “Prophesying the ‘Nevers.'” The minute something doesn’t seem right, a disappointment is realized, or (Heaven forbid) she has to WAIT for something, our daughter declares in an outburst, “I guess I’m NEVER doing… xyz!!!” (Fill in the blank with literally anything.)  One night, we had a bad bunch of corn on the cob and she proclaimed that we should NEVER buy corn again.  I’m sure it sounds silly, but when the “nevers” are declared everyday, multiple times a day, coupled with a sad puppy-dog droopy face, it gets old fast.

My inclination is to punish the behavior.  (“The next time you say ‘never’, I’m taking away a chapstick!”)  But I know this doesn’t tackle the heart of the behavior.  This is a far more difficult task.  I know she struggles greatly with disappointment and rolling with the punches.  And it doesn’t take a second look to tell that these are qualities she inherited from her mother.  I can relate to her, and I believe I understand what she is thinking and feeling when she acts dramatic or makes such a negative declaration.  But I still can’t excuse it.  The Bible warns us in Matthew and again in the book of James not to make oaths.  I believe that “prophesying a never” falls into this category.  Randy and I read the Bible to our children and we want them to know what God expects of us.  So part of my plan is to share these verses with her.

But more than telling her how God DOESN’T want us to act, I believe in teaching in the positive and emphasizing what we SHOULD be doing.  For this, I am turning to the fruits of the Spirit.  We’ve studied them in the past, but right now I want to put a special emphasis on them.  I want my children to know that if they fill themselves with the fruits of the Spirit, there won’t be room for the negative feelings to take over so much.  One of my favorite bloggers put together some crafty lessons for each of the fruits of the Spirit, driven by the desire to teach her own kids how to be patient, gentle, kind, and exhibit self control (among the rest).  I can’t wait to start using them!

Because this week is already jam-packed with our regular school, playdates, and getting ready for Abby’s big 5th birthday party (which I will definitely blog about–the theme is Candy Land!), I plan to start our Fruits of the Spirit study next week.  I will blog about our journey as we go.  In the meantime, if you want to check out Amanda’s Fruits of the Spirit projects, you can find them here http://ohamanda.com/fruit-of-the-spirit-activities/.  Wish me luck as I plan our new unit!

So because I feel weird ending a post without a recipe of some sort, I wanted to share what I like to do towards the end of the summer with our herb abundance in our garden.  If you find yourself wondering how you can use extra herbs you have in your garden before the season is over, try making a few herb butters.  I mentioned this in my last post but didn’t have a picture to go along with it.  You can experiment with different herb combinations.  Chop them up nice and fine, and mix them with softened salted butter (or add salt yourself).  Roll the butter into a log with wax paper and then freeze or refrigerate.  Voila!  What a yummy and simple way to add some sophistication to your everyday bread and butter dinner side…

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