“I think you might actually be crazy” said my husband to me in a text recently after I told him all the things I aspire to do right now. The thing is, I’m great at setting goals but horrible at focusing on just one or two at a time. Prioritizing is not my strong suit. And luckily I’ve had a great cheerleader for a husband in my corner–supporting me through the year I started my own catering business, the year I blogged all our meals while we also renovated two newly purchased apartments, my various furniture refinishing projects (including the one I currently have in our garage waiting for warmer weather for me to get my hands on it), my attempt at starting an online homeschool curriculum business (still ongoing, but developing slowly), and getting food safe certified to sell sourdough from home–and this is all on top of the “new” ideas for our home, gardens, homeschool, and other hobbies I want to pursue. (I keep staring down my piano, vowing that one day I WILL get back to it!) Clearly my problem isn’t for lack of things I want to try. My problem is an inability to focus on just one or two things at a time! I’m working on it. And I know I’m not alone in this. I always wanted to have a “thing”; a “niche.” But I never have because I want to try it all! And you can’t master any one thing if you’re always trying to pursue multiple goals at once. I’m learning to accept this, but at no small price. Along with accepting that I will probably never be utterly AMAZING at any one thing and enjoying a life pursuing multiple goals at once, sometimes I feel I am losing my sanity. Hence my hubby’s “I think you might actually be crazy” comment.

And maybe I am. Because in the midst of trying to maintain a sourdough business, create more online content for my shop, eat enough protein, get enough sleep, and spend enough quality time with my kids, I have decided to try one more thing for the first time: run a half marathon. It’s something I’ve wanted to try for a long time but never thought I would give it a go. Although I participated in track & field in high school, I’ve never really been athletic. Competition of any sort, especially sports, gives me anxiety. I’m not naturally good at physical activities and I’m not fast, but running is something I generally enjoy. Why did I never think I would actually sign up for a race like this? 1) I’ve been in the early stages of motherhood for what has felt like ages. For about 10 years, I was either pregnant or nursing and I certainly wasn’t going to put more demand on my body during that phase. 2) Even a few years post-partum with my last, my body just didn’t respond well to long runs. And I certainly didn’t want to have to take a bathroom break in the middle of an actual race! 3) A few years ago, I had a pretty bad ankle injury that I never really addressed. To this day I still don’t know if it was a really bad sprain or if I actually fractured a bone. I never got it checked out. All I know is my right leg was black and blue from my toes to halfway up my calf and even a couple years later, I couldn’t run more than 4 miles without intense pain in that ankle. 4) I didn’t want to put my family through the boredom of being at a race with me, even though I would want them there at the finish line. I worry that they’ll be annoyed waiting for me, especially if the weather isn’t great. So for a long time, it just didn’t seem like it was worth worrying about all those things to pursue a silly race. But still, the idea kept nagging at me…

So after weeks of hubby having to listen to me outward process all the reasons I wanted to run the race and all the reasons I felt like I shouldn’t, I finally signed up. And true to his supportive nature, he had patiently listened every time I brought up a new factor in my decision-making and then said, “I think if you want to do this, that’s reason enough and you should just do it. And the kids and I will be there. Just send me the link to the race info and I’ll make sure we’re all set. We won’t be bored. We want to support you.” I think I’ll keep him.

I said I’m trying to get better at prioritizing my goals, right? So this is actually helpful! For the next few months, I will set only 2-3 personal goals for the month and training for this half marathon will be at the top. There’s a deadline. It will help me focus. The other things I want to pursue can wait. I really think this “dialing it in” will be good for my mental health. I’m also going to drastically minimize my time spent on social media. Instagram has been a major detriment to my goal prioritizing because as soon as I see what someone else is doing, that’s when I think I should be doing something similar and that what I’m currently working on isn’t good enough. I can’t afford to keep looking in the lanes beside me in these upcoming weeks so I will soon say “goodbye” to the ‘gram for the time being. I will be documenting my training progress and other updates here, though!

I have 10 weeks of training and week one starts Monday. Ironically, it’ll be the coldest morning of the week, with temps in the single digits. I am not looking forward to the first few weeks of training in such cold weather. But I did buy some new running shoes that are fit for uneven and icy terrain. My plan is to train with my weighted vest and run the race without it. My goal is to finish the 13.1 miles in under 2 hours. For some, that probably seems easily doable. For me (who’s not fast, remember), I’m not so sure. I hope you’ll check back here in the weeks to come to see how things are going!